What Surprised Me The Most After Leaving The Narcissist

Instead of shaming/blaming someone for being abused, offer kindness and just listen without judgement.

“The victim of a narcissist needs:
– people to listen and not judge. They will relive the whole relationship many times. They need reassurance they did all they could to save the relationship, more than most women would, that they are not crazy or the bitch the narc says they are. (They may not believe it anymore than you do but; they WILL eventually think and talk about something else.
– the loyalty of friends and family. Do NOT stay friends with the narcissist. It is not possible to remain neutral with a narcissist. You are either supportive and believe the victim or you believe the narcissist but you can not ride the fence.
– do not fill the victim in on what the narc is doing. She may think she wants to know but it will only hurt. 
– please do not tell them what they need to do to heal, and give them time to heal, at least a year or more
– please refrain from saying how you always knew he was bad news, you never would have fallen for his lies, or anything else that suggests they were stupid and should have known better

What do you need from the people closest to you? What could people have done to convince you to leave sooner ? What would have helped you heal faster? What surprised you the most after leaving the narcissist?”

Source: What Surprised Me The Most After Leaving The Narcissist

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My experiences of narcissistic abuse, part 4: Future faking and broken promises

Without hope, what do you truly have?

Source: My experiences of narcissistic abuse, part 4: Future faking and broken promises

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“Kool Aid! Kool Aid! Get Your Narc Kool Aid Here!”

It never ceases to amaze me that these predators live amongst us. 😦

After Narcissistic Abuse

“Kool Aid! Kool Aid! Get Your Kool Aid Here!”

get your kool aid here

Narcissists are ALWAYS HYPING AND SELLING the narc kool aid. Not a breath is ‘wasted’ on other things, like OTHER PEOPLE or events in life…no the narcissist is a living breathing walking PR campaign and self advertisement about just how, well…..”GREAT THEY ARE”.

We thinks thou doth protest just a bit TOO MUCH, narcissist.

Think about this from a normal person’s standpoint for a moment. Do you sell yourself everyday? Do you try to get people to like you? Agree with you? Go to bat for you? Fight your battles? Do you try to convince people that you’re nice? A christian? Loving? A good friend? Or best wife/husband around?

It’s actually exhausting just thinking about living this way. Imagine feeling that you have to be ON 24/7 just to feel “ok”. As a (low maintenance) female, Im lucky if I actually…

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The Running Muscles you Never Think About

Source: The Running Muscles you Never Think About

I really wish I had learned about this when I was a teenager. But now I wish younger women were taught how to properly care for their pelvic floor while exercising _before_ any possible damage can be done to their bodies.

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Ten Conversational Narc Grenades



1. You never…. The precursor to a criticism of how you do not do something for me. It is a twin explosive assault against you because not only do I tell you that you are failing me by not doi…

Source: Ten Conversational Narc Grenades

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How The Trauma of Narcissistic Abuse Changes Our World Views

“The coup de gras of narcissistic abuse is that final horrible realization that not only have we been cheated on, lied to, abused, and left hung out to dry, but that the rules that defined who we previously were, no longer exist and no longer operate in our lives. It’s what I believe creates the “walking dead” effect of this abuse. The final blow is how we’re left an empty shell, no longer ourselves.”

Source: How The Trauma of Narcissistic Abuse Changes Our World Views

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Not Tonight Caroline


Knowing the Narcissist

Image result for picture of a screaming woman


Established readers may remember dear, sweet Caroline, an ex-girlfriend of mine who had a huge conscience and always sought to do the correct thing. She often wanted to fight back against my manipulations but could not do so because she took the view that it was wrong. Wrong because she did not believe in meeting fire with fire. Wrong because she always maintained that I needed help to overcome the issues that apparently I had. She was sweet but ever so misguided. Caroline was a particular enthusiast of horror movies. I at first found this slightly at odds with who she was although I naturally embraced her enthusiasm for them as part of my mirroring of her likes. I found that it was actually psychological thrillers and creepy horror (not out and out gore fests) which she preferred. The reason for this soon became apparent. She enjoyed being scared…

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