Unraveling The Chess Board Mind Of The Narcissistic Abuser

Well said.

Ideology Of Half

For many years I have tried to understand the mind of the narcissistic abuser.

I admit…their ability to genuinely believe their own lies, to this day, fascinates me.

For do they have insight into the fact that they lied? Certainly, they can remember the events that occurred that favor them, so surely their ability to selectively remember information requires a degree of awareness as to which of their actions would be considered, at least by others, to be immoral?

If they do not have insight and are unaware that they have lied, can they be blamed for lying?

At this point, I stop.

For it is beyond our need to understand whether the abuser should be pardoned for his or her wrong, immoral, hurtful and deceitful actions that have no doubt occurred.

Dwelling down this path may lead the “other” to excuse the abuser’s actions, not because of genuine forgiveness…

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How falling in love with a narcissist has changed me forever.

Frighteningly real.

Source: How falling in love with a narcissist has changed me forever.

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The Changes Psychopaths Can Make

Source: The Changes Psychopaths Can Make

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Stop Analyzing the Psychopath in Your Life

Source: Stop Analyzing the Psychopath in Your Life

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What You Should Know About Waist Training

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Peering inside a batterer’s mind — and his victim’s soul

Parental Alienation's Dirty Secrets , Akin to Domestic Violence 40 yrs ago

Understanding scope of intimate partner violence


Victims of severe physical violence:
1 in 4 women
1 in 7 men

Raped in the course of a lifetime:  (Dona’s opinion, via counseling)  These stats are low, especially for men(they don’t tell often)
1 in 5 women
1 in 59 men

Stalked during a lifetime:
1 in 6 women
1 in 19 men

Source: National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey

“I wanted him to come back to me as I remembered him. I lived for those moments when he would show up.”

Isabelle, survivor of domestic abuse

Me too Isabelle, me too~

Do you need help?

Learn more about…
Men Stopping Violence

Other resources for those in abusive relationships:
The National Domestic Violence Hotline:

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence

National Network to End Domestic Violence

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20 Signs of Unresolved Trauma

Discussing Dissociation

Unresolved Trauma

Many people enter the therapy process with minimal awareness of their trauma history.  When the trauma survivors are dissociative, they have the ability to block out an awareness of their trauma.  They may know that their family had problems, or that their family was dysfunctional, etc, but they may believe they were never abused.

child abuse child abuse (Photo credit: Southworth Sailor)

However, blocking out conscious awareness of trauma does not mean that the survivors have no effects of that trauma.  Using denial and dissociative skills does not mean that the abuse did not happen.  Denial means that the person simply is refusing to acknowledge or accept the fact that they were traumatized.  They are pretending they were not hurt, when they were actually hurt very badly.

Even if the memories of abuse are hidden from the survivor’s awareness, blocked trauma / unresolved trauma creates very noticeable and obvious symptoms that…

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